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Heart  to Heart

Everyone needs someone. I thought I didn't. There was so much turmoil when I was growing up that I shut myself off. I felt that if I let anyone in then I was letting drama in. So for about 50 years very few people made it in. I was nice and friendly but I stayed closed off. Then I ended up at the beginning of the breakthrough. I couldn't breathe I was so hurt. When one of the sons I had given up for adoption many years earlier showed up I let go of everything I was holding onto. I tried to find a useful support group for people in my position but it was about impossible in my area. The first time I went to the other side Atlanta and sat down in a room of birth mothers, adoptive mothers and adopted adult children I felt understood but I didn't agree with everything they said and it was too far away. None of my friends could understand what I was going through and even my very supportive daughter and husband could not understand truly. One very hard afternoon I asked for help on Facebook. I was referred to a discipleship counseling center local to me. Over the next 18 months I went through every single thing God would bring to mind to air it out and heal it through His mercy and grace. I faithfully showed up every Tuesday at 3 pm.   I found out what really being loved was all about. I was saved since I was 5 but I kept control. I went to Him for a good grade from time to time or to solve the problems I could not solve. My relationship with God was like a child to a teacher. I couldn't imagine Him being my Father because that left a bad taste in my mouth from my childhood experiences. I had to learn how God really loved me, indwelled in me and was closer than any friend every could be. He wasn't on a hill I had to take a trip to, He was literally with me always. The fruit of the Spirit I strived for was already a part of me as soon as the Spirit moved into my heart.  Being a Christian wasn't just for an abundant life in Heaven but eternity with Him was NOW. After much healing I joined in their advanced discipleship classes every Monday or Tuesday for another 18 months to continue my studies and growth. But in that group I found a family and acceptance that was unconditional no matter what I told them about my life. They showed the love of Christ to me and to one another. I learned how not to be so guarded with people. I learned a whole new definition of love and family. I learned about relationships and truly sharing the Love of God. 


This is what I want to share with you. That you are not alone even if you feel you are. That you are loved even if you don't always feel it. You are not the sum of what was don't to you or what you have done. You are the daughter of the most High King and of great value. Our Heart to Hearts are just talks between friends about what ever you need support through. I am not a counselor but I can refer you to some good ones. I do have life coach certifications from several organizations both secular and Christian. I have all kinds of 'programs' I can share with you and I will if you want them. I am taking courses in Women's Ministry through a Christian university and I can share that with you also but mainly I am here just to support you and I will be privileged to walk a little ways with you on your own journey. Just msg me and we can set something up. 

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